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Susan's Blog

A Lesson in Letting Go from the Swine Flu

Susan Marek

For the past 3 days, I have not left my bedroom.  HEY NOW!  Not because of THAT.  THAT would be infinitely better than the real reason.  I have the flu. Probably the pig flu, as my husband likes to say.  Fever, aches, cough, sore throat.  The whole nine yards.  Thank God for Hulu and iTunes.  I am all caught up on Eastwick, No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, and am currently working on season 1 of Eureka.  I know why Benjamin Button was so curious.  And what Stephen Colbert thinks of, well, many things.  All this video education I wouldn't have gotten otherwise.   I missed out on a great Halloween party and Trick-or-Treating. I haven't seen my downstairs or my dogs since Friday morning. BUT, I have learned a few things about letting go. I have let go my need to make sure the house is neat and tidy.  I can only imagine what the kitchen and family room look like with three children, one husband, and 3 dogs running amok for three days on a candy sugar high.  I am not in any position to do anything about it for a few days more, and that's OK.  I might be pleasantly surprised when I venture down there, but I am prepared for the worst.  I also have let go my need to be in control of my own needs.  I have finally said yes to help.  Instead of being stubborn and making myself sicker by doing everything for myself, I have given in and been open to my family's help with food, laundry, and my care.  I have rescheduled a few appointments instead of pushing myself to meet obligations that could potentially make me sicker.  Letting go of control of exernal factors and focusing on myself has been a learning experience.  Usually, I am so enveloped in making sure everything around me is running smoothly that I forget about me.  My calendar is detailed and full of appointments for children, husband, pets, and a few for me. My Plan A has a Plan B and C. I have obligations scheduled out through next June already.  All good things, but sometimes we need to slow down and recharge.  Perhaps I wouldn't have to if I was continually making sure I was taken care of first.  Not selfishly, but healthfully.  It has taken a virus to finally get through to me that it is ok to let go once in a while and focus on myself.  I have finally put myself first instead of last.  And that is a lesson I am grateful for.